


I Can't Look at You

by KryptoKin



Series: I Can't [4]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Gen, I Can't Series, Light Angst, i can't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 14:36:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19792945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KryptoKin/pseuds/KryptoKin
Summary: This was mostly finished after the episode this was based on aired, but life gets in the way. (Aka. I was a lazy toad.)ANY WAY! There are two more fics left in this series... for now.





	I Can't Look at You

Lena’s heart breaks in an unexpected way when Brainy asks her about love. In part because Brainy must never have experienced such a thing in his life in the future, but mainly because she knew the answer. She new that for her, love was soft lullabies in a soft Irish lilt, it was tickles after getting a boo-boo, and the warmth and earthiness of a strong hug from her mother; these were actions that overflowed from the love of her mother. Love would never happen for her until Jack. That love, obviously, looked different as it changed from nerdy frenemies to small explosion-filled romance. And to Lena’s surprise, it would happen again in the form of a quiet blonde who hovered in the shadow of a more experienced journalist.

When Lena first saw Kara, she didn’t think anything of her. It had taken her by surprise when the blonde showed up outside of the National City offices and tried to convince her to not do the press conference. It took her by surprise when Kara admitted to not liking Lena’s alien detector, but then changing her article. It took her by even deeper surprise when Supergirl told her that Kara was the reason she was there to save her. Kara never stopped surprising her.

Guilt washes over Lena followed by deep fear when Brainy tells her she WILL experience sorrow (and probably abject loneliness) if she secludes herself. It doesn’t take much convincing beyond there to know she needs to apologize to Kara and come clean with her, no matter the consequences. It’s funny, she once reprimanded Kara for not doing her job and here she was berating her for the opposite. The desire for confession is bolstered when she is informed Kara and Dreamer are in incredible danger because of Ben Lockwood and his Children of Liberty. (Lena almost calls them Children of Goonies, but that would be an insult to the precious film.) There’s really nothing she can do and is glad she gets the news of how Brainy and James handled the situation within the hour.

The next morning the day is too bright, too warm, and too filled with happiness. It throws her off our friendly the barista is to her as she gets her herbal tea (because coffee will only make her worry worsen) and the way the café is filled with laughter. Several children even smile at her as she walks to CatCO. Lena doesn’t believe in the signs, but she hopes these are all positive ones.

When she sees Kara, she can’t help but stare at her friend who is looking with pride at two people walking away from her. There’s a steely look in her eyes Lena’s seen a few times from her best friend that lets her know Kara has made progress on a story. Kara finally looks at her, which fills Lena’s chest with warmth. She may have refrained from answering Brainy’s question, but she certainly knows what a symptom of it feels like. Her eyes flicker to the window covered in marker and pictures as she leads Kara past the couches to the balcony where the air is cooler and sweeter than at street level. She’s impressed by how much Kara has put together and is amused by it too; she’s never met Cat Grant, but she feels the woman wouldn’t appreciate how Kara has decorated that window even though it now belongs to Lena.

The confession comes out in the most unrehearsed way. It doesn’t surprise her because how often do we word vomit words we never meant to say in the order we never meant to say them? She can’t look at Kara as she does this. She can’t bear to see the disappointment and anger in her best friend’s eyes as she reveals how she willingly worked with Lex. And when she’s done, she knows this is the end of her friendship with Kara… except it isn’t. Kara Danvers, the last woman she ever expected to be her friend and the first person to be by her side, except for Supergirl, tightly hugs Lena. She melts into the embrace and lets it all go; all her pain and fear and disappointment and everything that has been weighing Lena down until she can’t breathe and it’s cathartic and peaceful.

Later than night, Lena gets to see how brilliant her friend is and how her mind connects things as they discuss what Kara’s discovered so far. It’s the first time her and Kara have worked together this way and she hopes it’s not the last. Lena glances to her left and chuckles at the way Kara drinks her soda and squints at something Lena wrote in shorthand.

Maybe telling Kara her secrets and fears isn’t so bad, after all.


End file.
